CONTROL YOUR ANGER AND JEALOUSY

CONTROL YOUR ANGER AND JEALOUSY

The strongest man is he who can control his anger and jealousy.

To strengthen and help our mind's progress, it is a good plan to act as if the undesirable thought were no longer present.This seems in theory to divide the mind, but it introduces the use of will and can be proved to be a workable method. Probably the hardest thing to do is to react peaceable to a man who attacks you in word or deed. It is not so much the physical danger as the inherent egoism that feels utterly humiliated if it gives way in such circumstances. But anyone can give way when he is treated with courtesy and respect. Difficult circumstances are the really valuable ones. Moreover, to go through them is to realise how strong is the ''I'' and to value them as opportunities for coming to grips with this our real foe. Anger grows tenfold if met with anger, but if met calmly it often ends quickly in a sense of shame which is stronger by contrast. It is the most illogical of all passions. At the moment of intense anger a man is no longer really human; he has become a destructive animal. Even anger at injustice done to others is no a state of mind which is conducive to a right solution. But in dealing with oneself, this mood of anger cannot outlast a calm analysis.Obviously, the two attitudes are antithetical, and at first the anger, if already a habit, is likely to brush all else aside. But with practice, all things can be achieved, and we can look at ourselves and say, ''Who is it that is annoyed? What is the cause of this anger? Anger soon subsides and often is forgotten in the interest of discovering the cause. Afterwords, conscious of having avoided the probably foolish action that would have followed if anger had taken its course, we are glad that we observed such self-control. In addition, there nearly always appear other factors which we had ignored at the time.

All such difficult circumstances reveal more to us of ourselves than anything else can do. Moreover, to act towards other troublesome, suspicious, antagonistic people with good will is perhaps to help them to heal themselves of the mental ill-health of which these attitudes are the symptoms. All men have suffered wrong treatment themselves, and all bear the scars. Many people have had their childhood marred and their characters warped. We are striving for health of mind ourselves from a similarly imperfect past. Health of mind will spread to others as readily as wrong though. In any case, the Path can never be trodden to the goal until all such wrong attitudes of mind have been superseded, therefore, however often we fail, let us freely admit the failure and go on striving.

Certain creatures cannot see in the day-time whilst some others are blind at night. But a man driven to great heights of hatred does not observe anything, either by day or night.

Buddha says: ''Conquer anger by love, evil by good, the miserly by generosity and the liar by truth''.

With whom and with what do you fight when you are angry. You fight with yourself, for you are the worst enemy of yourself. Mind is your best friend and worst foe. You must of try to kill the passion of lust, hatred and ignorance that are latent in your mind by means of morality, concentration and wisdom.

A recipe to curb outbursts of anger will be found helpful in a large percentage of cases. The following auto-suggestive cure should be resorted to several times a day. Say to yourself:

''I can control my anger

I can subdue irritability
I will keep cool and unruffled 
I will be as unmoved as a rock 
I am courageous and full of hope.''
Source : From the book 'Why worry?' by K. Sri Dhammananda